Delirium

okie, now i am writing something very personal, something i havent written in all these months of blogging. All this time, i have just let a part of me being exposed to the readers. Well, I have in no way set an illusion, but have also not revealed the real me. I am getting nutts. That is for sure. It's almost 12:30 at midnight and I don't feel like sleeping yet. I am musing over the possibilities of unconditional love, spiritual happiness, asceticism, purity of mind and soul, friendship, friends, betrayal, love, enmity and everything this small thinking box of mine can extend to. I long for friends, all gone and happy. They are working hard to make their future secure and happy. While some are still struggling to get their way to the desired path. I know they are with me in everything I do, in every hour of need. Now my mind is suffering an avalanche, a strong one, blowing everything. This is why I am writing all this crap. I am in love with someone I don't know. I am hating people I actually love. I feel betrayed while there are none to betray me. I feel loved by someone who doesn't even notice me. Freedom in love lies in asking nothing and expecting nothing. I am well aware of this. And, I expect nothing and ask nothing from him (who?? dunno). Absurd!! Not again!!!...This delirium will pass soon. I know. And before it fleets from my mind, I just have a feeling of pouring everything I am experiencing into words. Enjoy the read. This is how a desperate soul feels at midnight.
PS: I am listening to the melodies of MLTR right now. Feels kinda soothing and pleasing. Will, read 11 minutes now. After all, pleasures of world end in those mere 11 minutes. hope only few of you will grasp the meaning :P