Life as I see it.

What is love?
What do people want out of it?
What did I get?
What could I give back?
Or did I ever give?

Is this it?
The point of being
The meaning of life
The idea of love
Give and Take?

or is it,
the incessant struggle
with no ending in sight
with no meaning to comprehend?

What is life without you?
This time and this place
without your presence?

I am left with no friends
no foes indeed.
I sulk in silence alone.
No one cares.

Why should they?
Why should you?
Why should anyone?

I revolve around the world
The world does not revolve around me

And yet
Again and again
I think of you
I fight back
And I cry
Again and again

 A tear dropped void of hope
A struggle without cause
A mission without promise

Oh is that what it is?
The meaning of life.

She calls me a whore.

What if I am one,
What if I’m not?

What if I do sell my soul,
What if I don’t?

What if the predators devour me,
What if I let them do it?

What if I love myself for being one,
What if it’s for mere survival?

What if it’s you instead,
And, I the only victim?

What if you hate accepting your identity,
And see your reflection in me?

What if I enjoy being a woman,
And you hate your existence as one?

Whore as you like calling me,
I am not offended.

But I do feel sympathy,
For you don’t see the other four fingers pointed at you.

Thank you, I must.
As always, I feel honored.

To my almost lover

Since when did love become this hard.
I thought,
after few kisses and honey-coated words
It did the magic.
What more do you need
than me feeding your far fetched ego all the time?
If you want
I can go on
forever singing your praise
and describing
how I fell
for those sparkling blue eyes
childlike innocent smile.
How I like
the way you sound
when you talk all passionate about everything
the way you look at me
right before we kiss.
I like how
you are so honest
and talk from your heart
and ask questions
a lot of them
even when we are making out.
I am not sure,
what else it takes
for this to work out
for us to work out.
If you like me
do tell me.
If not
I'll walk away
just like that,
my almost lover.

I thought that was it
Few good words
Some corageous deeds
Unexpected yet immensely desired
Unconventional I might say
Unacceptable you will say
I liked it
You despised it
Nothing remained the next day
I wanted to start afresh
A fullstop that calls for an end
And life will continue as it did
No more hopes
No day dreaming
They are infectious, I always knew
Hopes to dreams to expectations to sadness
That was the trajectory I wanted to avoid
I could not go back to the same old route
And suffer as usual
I said to myself, 'it was nothing'
Nothing became something
Something wanted reason to exist
I had no reason
When was I rational anyways?
Nonexistent hopes
Nonexistent emotions
That is where I exist
The something that came from nothing
Always questions my existence.

hollow box

I'm a box now
a card board box
not a happy one
like we had in our living room
that everyone wanted to get in
more like a sad one
its hollow for sure
depth I cant see
get into it
you wont hit the ground
falling into the abyss
you cant come out either
you keep on falling
like I'm falling into myself
future I don't see
present is non-existent
I keep falling
deeper every passing day
drifting away from the reals
into what I call 'unreal'
but we all believe in unreals
don't we?

(mis)understanding

I liked you
When we first met
I liked you even more
When we talked
You were nice
I thought you were ‘my type’
Shy at times
With the philosophical heights
We were friends quick
I thought it will stay the same
Alas, you changed
For your own good
There I missed it
And then was the gap
I couldn’t fill
Path has blurred
Things uncertain
I still don’t know
Where it is going to head

Them State Buses

Jumping high on every turning
It feels like an exotic horse riding.
The bumps along the road
Couldn’t have been experienced better
Than by your ride on state buses.
Conductor of the bus seems like a nice fella
With a name tag on a brown unifarm.
Oblivious to whoever stands around
He sits in the front seat.
Don’t expect him to return your smile
Even though he looks like someone with good heart.
He comes to you striking on the metal handle
Gives you your punched ticket
After you pay him for it.
People around you are nice and naive
They will treat you with continuous gaze.
Return them their smile
They will be more than pleased.
Even if you don’t
They will still be amazed.
One of the best experiences of my stay in India
Has been traveling in the state bus
That flies on the road
More like a jet plane.